To support our children post pandemic, we need to first understand the various ways that COVID-19 has impacted their wellbeing, both mentally and socially.

What is the social development impact?

There have been signs of developmental lag in some children’s social skills. Remember that children have missed out on many normal developmental opportunities throughout the pandemic. Their social skills are out of practice and thus need extra care and attention.

DO: provide children with more coaching and be very explicit about how you want them to handle the challenges they run into.

DON’T: get frustrated with children for not always knowing the developmentally appropriate ways to interact.

DON’T: expect that children can figure it out on their own.

What is the mental health impact?

This stress will manifest in different ways for different children. Some children will feel sad, while others will feel anxious or even angry about what they've been through. It’s important not to confuse a child being in psychological distress with having a mental health problem. Feeling upset about the pandemic is a natural response for children to have. So if a child is tearful about all they've missed out on, this is normal as they feel comfortable to express their feelings through tears and are possibly even seeking consolation in an adult.

DO: expect your child to be more emotionally fragile than they would be normally be and be extra patient with them.

DO: help them put their feelings into words or even find other ways to express themselves, such as through art, and offering them comfort and empathy.

DO: acknowledge and validate your child’s emotions.

THREE warning signs that a child needs mental health support:

1. If a child is unable to receive or find ways to help themselves feel better.
2. If a child is doing things that are harmful to others or harmful to themselves.
3. If a child’s sadness starts to interfere with their ability to enjoy anything or feel hopeful.

What is the academic impact?

School closures affected children both socially and academically. While widespread digitalisation did help mitigate education loss for most children, the poorest children suffered disproportionately, due to a lack of good home-learning environments and internet connection. In addition, the increase in unsupervised online internet usage increased issues around sexual exploitation and cyber-bullying. In South Africa, studies found that being out of school not only lead to learning loss but mental distress, exposure to violence and abuse, missed school-based meals and reduced development of social skills. This means that, in the longer-term, the skills needed to transition into working lives will be affected.

Find out how to support the #SAFEBACKTOSCHOOL movement.

FIVE signs your child could be suffering from anxiety:

1. Shows reluctance to separate from parents
2. Needs constant reassurance (Are we going to be okay? Is daddy going to be okay?)
3. Shows persistent physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches
4. Has regular tantrums or meltdowns.
5. Has trouble sleeping

How can I help my child manage their anxiety?

• Identify and remove stressors that trigger their anxiety. This will help them learn to tolerate their anxiety and function as well as they can, even when they’re anxious. As a by-product, the anxiety will decrease over time.
• Don’t avoid things just because they make a child anxious
  Helping children avoid the things they are afraid of will make them feel better in the short term, but only reinforce their anxiety in the long run.
• Express positive (but realistic) expectations
  Instead of promising a child that they won’t ever fail at something, express confidence that they’re going to be okay because they will be able to manage it when it happens. This gives them confidence that your expectations are realistic, and that you’re not going to ask them to do something they can’t handle.
• Don’t ask leading questions
  Encourage your child to talk about their feelings, but always asl open-ended questions, like” “How are you feeling about the science fair?” instead of leading questions like “Are you anxious about the big test? In other words, don’t plant an emotion rather let them tell you how they are feeling.
• Try to keep the anticipatory period short
  When we’re afraid of something, the hardest time is really before we do it. So try to eliminate or reduce the anticipatory period by not focusing on it for days or hours before the event.
• Plan to face fears with the child
  o It can help to talk through what would happen if a child’s fear/s came true, eg if a parent didn’t come to pick them up from school. “If your mom doesn’t come at the end of soccer practice, what would you do? For some kids, having a plan can reduce the uncertainty in a healthy, effective way.
• Try to model healthy ways of handling anxiety.There are multiple ways you can help kids handle anxiety by letting them see how you cope with stressful events and triggers. So instead of hiding your anxiety, let the child hear or see you managing it calmly, tolerating it, and feeling good about getting through it.

THREE Techniques to help your child regulate their emotional and physical responses:

1. Deep “rainbow” breathing: Teaching your children to “breathe the rainbow” by taking slow deep breaths and thinking about their favourite things to match each colour helps them slow their heart rate and relax their muscles.
2. Progressive muscle relaxation: Most kids tense their muscles when feeling anxious. Take them through a 2-step “tense and release” exercise to help them practice the art of relaxing.
   1) Tense and hold a specific muscle group (eg: arms, hands or shoulders) for five seconds
   2) release the muscle group and notice how you feel.
3. Create a relaxation kit:
   Fill a box with relaxing activities that have been chosen by your child (eg music, colouring books, fidget toys, books, stuffed animals) and create a relaxation area somewhere in your home.

Want to learn more about anxiety?
Discover ways to identify, support and help your child manage anxiety.